Psychologies

I am particularly fond of a Q/A section in Tehelka by the
same name. In this post I'll try to answer the questions
asked in the latest issue of Tehelka(31st May) for myself.

Q1) What do you miss most about childhood ?
A1) Relaxed and easy paced life, not worrying much about
things other than studies. Simple thinking with less
responsibilities and less facades. Back then I had more time
and less things to do, these days its just the opposite.
Also, I was physically more active then.

Q2) What makes you glad that you're at this age.
A2) I can take all sorts of decisions for myself. I am
financially independent and understand things at
a much deeper level then what I could even imagine during
my childhood. Also, that I understand myself better.

Q3) What kind of people repel you?
A3) People who crib too much about things without really
making any efforts to change things. People who exploit
the weak and less fortunate. Most politicians and lastly
those who are extremely materialistic.

Q4) What is the biggest dilemma you have faced?
A4) Biggest dilemma that I've faced and still continue
to face would be "what would be the perfect way to lead the second
innings of my life and how to go about it"

Q5) So what do you think of marriage now?
A5) Firstly not everyone is supposed to get married and
secondly I feel those who decide to get married should
be mentally prepared to give what it takes to make it a
success. Its much much difficult than it sounds.

Q6) So would you prefer a live-in relationship to marriage?
A6) Hmmm.. No, I don't think so.

Q7) What would you change about yourself?
A7) I'd like to be in control of myself a bit more both emotionally
and spiritually. Also, be a better time manager.

Q8) What do you think of the Indian youth?
A8) Indian youth is going through a phase of self-discovery and
exposure to a bit too many things in very less time and
this era of "Instant Gratification" is taking its toll too. I feel
they need to think a bit about the things that they don't think
at all about to make better sense of things around.

Q9) What about the man-woman divide?
A9) It's unfortunate that there still exists this divide in
many parts of the country but I hope with time and efforts
that are going in this direction things will be better in
future.

Q10) So you think women are less empowered?
A10) If I look around then I don't think so but yes in general
I feel they are. While I feel they should be more empowered
at the same time I hope they don't loose touch their real/true
self on the path to empowerment and post it.

Q11) What would you never change about yourself?
A11) *thinking*........
Giving some quality time to myself and those close to me.
The habit of thinking a lot and without bounds. My observant
nature and ability to not loose cool in most situations and
lastly being able to act irresponsibly and kiddish whenever the
situation permits me.

I'd like to tag the following to answer the above mentioned
questions .

Faded_Glory, Kaa, Smriti,
Sanjukta

Desperate Relationships !!!

Came across this phrase while listening to a talk show on Meow..
I know it's a all women radio station but then what the heck ?
Ever since I heard this phrase I couldn't stop thinking about it..

Desperate Relationships or DR's ....It kinda reminds of Desperate
Housewives but its no where related to that or my previous
post with a similar title..

The way I see, DR's is a class of relationships which can be
characterized by some basic/common traits. A DR stands for a
relationship in which someone enters to either cater to a strong
unfulfilled emotional(or physical) need or to run away from some
grim realities of one's life.

A careful look around yourself will reveal that this is not as
uncommon as it sounds..The causes and symptoms may vary but
sadly the outcomes are almost all the same. A potential symptom
for a DR is when deep down the people involved
(at least one of them) knows that this won't last long. It's not
uncommon to find someone who just got out of a serious
relationship get into another (apparently) serious one in almost
no time or to find someone whose already in a relationship trying
to get into another one for some unmet wants/needs..

These wants and needs could arise due to various reasons ranging
from facing phases of extreme loneliness in their lives to the
unsaid social/peer pressures of being single for quite a while.
Think about it.. Don't you know someone who got into a wrong
relationship just because she couldn't handle all sorts of pressures
(emotional, social etc) of being in mid/late 20's and single ?
or someone who got into a sinking relationship because almost all
of his school and college( or maybe work) friends were in
some sort of relationship ?

A relationship that begins in such circumstances is bound to hit
the rocks sooner or later and what's sad is that it takes down along
with it the people involved in it, particularly the emotionally
sensitive one or the who got into it without enough consideration..
Thus causing a further downfall which can potentially lead to
disastrous psychological consequences particularly when someone
has already been through a lot in their life.

Saying all that I think it would be wise for people who've been
through a tough time in their previous relationships to give
themselves enough time and thought before boarding this ship
otherwise ................................

Trivia:
1) Another term for a DR could be Comfort Relationship, a relationship
which might give a sense of comfort to the involved people in the short
run but won't last long.