The Thing About Married Women

Disclaimer: The idea behind this post isn't to scandalize or judge anyone. It's just one of these things that I've thought about for a while. Nothing more and nothing less.

Why Married Women and not Married Men? Well, you know the answer already. *Most* married men tend to think more or less on the same lines. Which in short is "mauke pe chauka".

Married Women, however are a different species which come in almost as many varieties as you can think of. The context of this post is women who are on a lookout for something outside their marriage. One thing which me and a couple of my friends(with experience) agree to is that married women(on the lookout), take lying to a new level all together. While you can predict lies that married men might tell, you can't possibly imagine how married women could lie to get what they seek. They'll do things and plan things in such a way that their men would somehow end up feeling good about the whole thing than being uncomfortable. I've seen/heard a bit and I am shit scared of how this works.

While nearly everyone needs to know/connect/interact with different/new people various people take things forward differently.Women want men in their lives almost as much as men need women in theirs, it's the needs however which differ. As per my understanding the need to have opposite gender can be categorized into four categories.

1. Physical
2. Intellectual
3. Emotional 
4. Social

Apart from these four needs is another need for change/something new

When you are married (or even in a serious relationship) with someone, chances are that at most two or three of these four needs would be taken care of (exceptions of 4/4 are always there however rare). It is the missing need(s) from this need pyramid along with the universal need for new/change that are tricky.

Once you are missing something you need, first you unconsciously realize it and start seeking it and after a while you become aware of it consciously and get on a lookout. The four needs are self explanatory and many a times the seeker is aware(at some level of consciousness) of what they are looking out for. However, the other person in question, the friend/boy-friend etc has a tough time making sense of what's going on in their relationship or whatever you may call it.

Married women have their own ways of seeking the missing needs or having someone new in their lives.

Some of the ways include

1. Social Networking Sites
   
   Connect with someone/many on Facebook etc. Keep liking, commenting(selectively) each others updates. Exchange pvt messages once in a while. That's the most the women will be comfortable with. No offline interaction, no meetings, no chances of being on the wrong side while still flirting with men
2.  Messengers
   Whatsapp/BBM take things to the next level. For those women who feel comfortable with taking things to the next level will add the guy on their messenger and chit-chat with them as per their convenience. Replying at will, not texting at odd hours, being careful with the language they use are some of the precautions to avoid any untoward questions by the spouse
   
   Social Media and Messengers can have different comfort levels for different women, while for some having a new guy Facebook is ok while for some having him on BBM is better than having him on Facebook.
3. Phone
   
   The more enthusiastic ones will avoid Social Media and/or Messengers (for the fear of being checked upon and not leaving an online trace) will prefer to keep things on phone. They are generally more sophisticated than the 1st and 2nd category ones. They precisely know what they are doing and what they want. Some ground rules like day/time restrictions aside they'll be the most comfortable on phone and will talk more openly.
4. In Person
   
   This is where the game gets Real. Talking on phone, whatsapping or private messaging on Facebook is all in air and can things turn around anytime. You might get unfriended, blocked or even the phone number might change leaving the guy in question with little left. If 60% of women would back out before Phone level, about 40% of those who move to phone level will never make it beyond that.

If you are a guy, it would make a lot of sense(besides saving tons of hours) if you could get to level 3 and 4 early in the game. If she is taking a lot of time to get on phone or meet, chances are she might take forever to reach where you want her to. 

Married women hanging out with someone often is more likely than not going to lead to more things. As always, exceptions are there everywhere.  Whatever you do guys, try to identify which need of hers is she trying to find in you. This will save you a lot of time and disappointment, if you are looking to get laid.

If she is looking to be emotional while you are acting all intellectual or being interested in laying her, things, might never work out. Conversely, if she is in it for sex (though women generally tend to not need sex by itself. They need emotions and sex in that order mostly) and you are too busy being social it is a waste.

Emotional,Intellectual, Social and Physical that in my opinion is the order in which most married women have their needs. For some Social and Physical may interchange and for some really sure ones the order might just be Physical, Intellectual, Social and Emotional. Most women would rather talk or hang out with a guy then be in bed with them. As long as you keep taking them out and keep them conversationally engaged (or better just keep listening for most women would rather talk day to day chit chat than discuss poetry or philosophy ) they are just fine. 

I personally feel the best mix is all four needs in the following order Intellectual, Physical, Emotional and Social. I can't imagine being with someone I can't have an exciting conversation with.

The most popular option out there would probably be Emotional/Social needs only or Emotional/Intellectual followed by Social/Physical. Rare, would be cases which start with Physical and these would be easy to identify.

Infidelity be it physical, emotional, intellectual or social (if we can count it) is a debatable thing and it is for an individual to decide which one is worse, whichever way it would be going forward we'd be seeing more of these in the times to come.

Waking Life

"The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving.
Saves on introductions and good-byes"

"It’s like you come onto this planet with a crayon box. Now, you may get the 8-pack, you may get the 16-pack. But it’s all in what you do with the crayons, the colors that you’re given. And don’t worry about drawing within the lines or coloring outside the lines. I say color outside the lines. You know what I mean? Color right off the page. Don’t box me in."

Above mentioned lines come straight from the script of "Waking Life", one of the movies that beckon you and without realising you are lost in 'em (or with 'em). Written and Directed by Richard Linklater, Waking Life is the kinda movie that makes me(atleast) say WOW out loud, partly maybe because its about the thing that i am quite passionate about, yes if you are observant enough its TALKING.

Mostly its about the young protagonist in a dreamy state conversing with people from different walks of life and some random people talking randomly about anything from Information Revolution to Collective Memory, Free will to Evolution and much much more..

This is just the kind of Cinema(I am in love with this word) that gets your brain cells working overtime, the way mine are right now...If you are in a habbit of thinking then chances are that you might find a discussion or two on some familiar topics. This being perhaps the only movie ever, that i watched in both directions, going back again and again to some mind-expanding dialogue or the other from the beginning right till the end.

"I’m afraid we’re losing the real virtues of living life passionately, sense of taking responsibility for who you are, the ability to make something of yourself and feeling good about life"

"In short, I think the message here is that we should never simply write ourselves off and see ourselves as the victim of various forces. It’s always our decision who we are."

So if you are one of those compulsive thinkers or one of those who are into experimental cinema or someone having a high curiosity index( a self coined term) or someone who found the above written prate intriguing, then you know where to go from here.

Thanks Linklater for this Intellectual Coming....

My Rating: 4.5 ++
Imdb Rating:7.4

Which is the most universal human characteristic - fear or laziness?