What Women Want....

"Nice guys don't finish last" read a poster on the sets of sitcom
Joey. In fact that's how I first got to know about the popular phrase
"Nice guys finish last".

Nice Guy is a term in the general public discourse and in popular
culture for a male with certain personality traits and behaviors.
Many traits, both positive and negative are associated with "nice guys".
These traits include sensitivity, agreeableness, pleasantness,
considerateness, respectfulness, altruism, understanding, kindness,
sympathy, dependability, honesty,trustworthiness, passivity,
sexual cautiousness or inexperience, chivalrousness, effeminacy,
passive-aggressiveness, conflict-avoidance, "wimpiness",
"spinelessness", being "whipped", manipulativeness and submissiveness.
-- Wikipedia

From my experience I feel girls/women in general do tag some guys
as "Nice Guys" and from what I've gathered, it essentially means
that women find these people Harmless, Helping, Caring, Comforting
and someone with whom they can share things close to their hearts
and be themselves.The chemistry that thus develops between girls
and "Nice Guys" is quite conspicuous and it gets people to start
thinking that Girls prefer "Nice Guys".Next and the obvious thing is,
guys trying to be nice or pretending(at times going out of the way)
to be nice. Till here it's as simple as ABC. But the climax of all this
is the question

"Whether nice guys are attractive to women or not".

Apparently there is a huge variance in women's stated preferences
and their actual choices in guys. That is they say and
show(or maybe believe) that they like "Nice Guys" but while
making a choice they often tend to do otherwise.

While one research claims that
"many 'Sensitive' men do not believe that women want 'Nice Guys'
due to their personal experiences" other says
"women are less likely to have sex with men who are 'nice' than
men who are 'not nice'" and another says
"women looking for long/committed relationships prefer the 'Nice Guys'"

By now your brain cells must have started firing and you
are thinking what's the real deal.. Now what if we add
"Women like when guys are nice to them,
but only when they don’t have to be" to the concoction ?

To make things worse add the concept of
"Nice Guys as Intellectual Whores".

Intellectual Whore (a man whom a woman befriends only for the
intellectual stimulation he gives her). A theory goes on to state that
women seek two things an aggressive sexual partner and an
intellectually stimulating or entertaining partner. It concludes
that if these qualities cannot be found in one single man, a woman
will seek out two (or more) separate men to fulfill all of her needs.
The nice guy only fits one of these categories.

and perhaps thus the above mentioned discrepancy between saying and doing.

Is there any set pattern or it differs from case to case ?
Whatever it be, but then can someone really say what goes inside
a girl's mind ?

Poll Time(girls only):
1) You meet two men. One, Rahul, is nice but somewhat shy and
has not had any affairs. The other, Ribhu, is attractive, a lot of fun,
and has had history with 3 women. Both wish to date you.
Whom do you choose?
2) Whom will you choose a nice guy or a fun/sexy guy ?

Trivia:
1) The term "Intellectual Whore" is derived from a short-story by
Woody Allen called The Whore of Mensa'.
2) "Women like when guys are nice to them,but only when they don’t
have to be" roughly translate into something like "Being Nice at
times but not always ..."
3) I am somehow reminded of a dialogue from the film
"Manorama 6 feet under"
"Yeh aurat bhi ajeeb hoti hai, agar galat marad mil jaye
toh saari zindagi roti rehti hai aur jo sahi mil jaye to usse
saari zindagi rulati rehti hai"

Links:
1) Nice Guy
2) The Nice Guy Paradox Solved
3) More on Whoredom
4) Average Frustrated Chump

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

Theme song of the UK sitcom Coupling.....


Lyrics (Go through 'em)

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Been there, Felt this ??

Me, Myself and My Randomness

Dated:9th Aug

After having an okiesh day at office I left for home(with some emotional
baggage). Thought of meeting my best friend in order to talk things out
and feel better but unluckily or luckily our rendezvous couldn't happen.
Took a Cab for home from Dhaula Kuan along with 3 other people
including a stylish guy with a pony. After being lost in my own world for
10 minutes or so I started to over hear what the guy with a pony was
talking on his phone.

"Nahi yaar tu usse jaane de, agar usse khud hi galat nahi
lag raha toh theek hai" "Agar tu mera bhai hai toh usse kuch
mat bolna main tere se haath jod ke request karta hun"

Needless to say after overhearing this I was Intrigued and started one of
my favorite time pass games "Guess, what they are talking about". Soon
I thought the better of it and thought of starting a conversation and
asking him what's wrong .

Me: Hi, I am sorry but I kinda overheard your conversation.
Waise generally speaking how comfortable would a person be
about talking his/her problems with a complete stranger ?
etc etc...
Pony Guy: Hmm Ya, at times it happens that people are so overflowing
with emotions that they can share anything with anyone even a complete stranger.
Me: blah blah
Pony Guy: blah blah

That's how we started talking and kept going on and on. He started telling
me what was he talking about on phone

"My girlfriend made a friend about 6 months back and she wants
to go n wish him birthday at 12 in the night, I feel this is not kinda
right, though she asked me to join her. I mean giving a call at night
etc is ok but going to wish someone at that hour is not ok"
"Maine toh usse mana kara hai but if she still goes then there will
be some trouble"

Honestly speaking I was anticipating something bigger given
all the issues that I have been getting to know for quite a while now.
Exchanged a few sentences about where we worked,lived etc and then
again we were talking about his problem, I also got so engrossed that
I skipped my stop and went on...
{Every time I have to make a decision like this I ask myself do I do this
regularly and since the answer is mostly NO I happily go ahead}.

Took an auto from where the Cab dropped us and then this guy
(we don't know each other's name as yet) asked me "Do you drink?"
Me: Yes but occasionally and beer mostly
Pony Guy: Beer peeni hai ?

Next 10 minutes saw us sipping a king fisher in auto, never thought
I would be drinking beer in an auto. We drank and talked till we got to
our destination.Not knowing my appetite he had got 2 beers so we
found a suitable place on the main road to finish off the other bottle.
Heart to Heart talks followed.
I Got to know more about his life story n he got to know a bit about mine
(Mind you this was the first time I opened a portion of my heart out to someone).

By now the hours hand of the clock had reached between 9 n 10 and
needless to say he was feeling lighter/better and I slightly high(drunk).
The job was done so we decided to head home and exchanged numbers
(Initially I was keen to keep it anonymous) n the icing on the cake of
coincidence was that we both shared the same surname.

Trivia:
1) I had a similar experience 6-7 months back in my previous
company with a girl working in our BPO dept.
2) Realized each couple has a unique set of issues.
3) I have this random thought of doing something of this sort
regularly in a slightly more organized manner. Lets see if
some comes about.

Ajeeb Shakhs....

Thanks to an Orkut friend from Pakistan who sent this to me:

Ajeeb shakhs tha kaisa mizaaj rakhta tha..
Saath reh k bhi woh ikhtilaaf rakhta tha..
Main kyun na daad doon uss k fun ki ay logo..
Mere har sawaaal ka pehlay hi jawab rakhta tha..
Woh khud to roshniyon ka baasi tha magar,
Meri andher nagrii ka bara khayal rakhta tha..
Muhabbat to thii ussay kisi aur se shayad..
Ham se to yunhii hansii mazaq rakhta tha..

Trivia:
1) The Arabic term ikhtilaaf denotes taking a different position or course
from that of another person either in opinion, utterance, or action.

That's how I lost my other key

It rained heavily in the evening n we(office friends) got drenched and
had "Gol Gappas"at the Green Park market..Got back to office after that,
wrapped up my work and left for home....

As expected the traffic was at its worst best..Every lane clogged and every
traffic signal choked..Took me some biking/maneuvering skills and a good 15
minutes to hit the ring road. Things were seeming to be better with running
traffic, flowing cool breeze and slight drizzle. A part of me enjoying the
weather and other driving the bike.

Zipping,Zapping and Zooming on the ring road while thinking a thousand
thoughts. From "Quippy" to "Office Work" to "Crashing Markets" to
"A friend's drinking spree" everything was bombarding my mind in an
absolutely random manner.Driving at 60+ I had crossed "Dhaula Kuan"
and was about to reach "Delhi Cant" ki red light. The signal was not
working and a cop had taken it's place to manage the traffic.

Everyone was rushing, trying to cross the signal in time when all of a sudden
the cop showed his palm at our side of traffic and as a reflex action the two
cars that were ahead of me came to a sudden halt and BANG....
My bike skidded and rammed into a Wagon-R that was just ahead of me.
My heart skipped a beat on realizing that some damage had been done by me.

Almost half a minute passed without any response from the two guys
who were inside the car..I calmed a bit and sort of instinctively started
pretending as if I had hurt my left hand(which obviously wasn't the case).
And then the guy who was sitting next to the person driving the car
came out to take a stock..To his(and my) displeasure he found that the
bumper was damaged and thus began the blame game.

He: "Yeh kya kara hai"
He(To that other guy): "Yeh toh bumper tod diya hai"
Me(Innocently): "Bhaisahab maine jaan bhoojh ke thodi na kiya hai,
aapne ek dum se break laga di"
He(Turning Red): "Aagey wale ne break maari toh maine bhi maari,
tumse break nahi lagi to tumhari galti hai"
Me(Still pretending to be Innocent): Blah Blah Blah
He: Gurr Gurr Gurr

The cop signaled "green" and horns started blaring. He then indicated the
other guy whom he kept referring as "SIR" to cross the signal and took
the keys of my bike n asked me to come to the side. I was trapped.
He sat on my bike and told me to cross the signal. I did as I was directed,
for it was me who was guilty.

We drove and I tried to wheedle out of the situation giving all sorts of
excuses but all he had to say was "Aapko iske paise dene padenge".
I didn't even consider that option as my mind had already done the
calculations and informed me that the amount in question would be some
4 digit number.So were yet to reach a solution and then I realized that I was
not even carrying the registration papers for my bike.FUCK
If he involves a cop in this, rest assured I will be screwed.

We reached Naraina market and started waiting for the guy who was driving
the car. My pillion rider got down, called up his "SIR" and started explaining
him where we were. By this time even I had started to feel irritated
and then with a BLINK I got into my helmet, started my bike and Vroooooooom

Didn't look back even once and zigzagged my way to Naraina's Traffic Signal
and from there to my locality.

God willing, I had once again managed to pull it off....

Trivia:
1) Read how I lost my first key here.
2) Stopped at near by repair shop and took tomorrow's appointment to
get back my first key.
3) Used a friend's key to lock my bike for the night.
4) Every time I start feeling sorry for that guy I wishfully think
"That guy was not the owner of the car and he was trying
to butter his so called SIR who super cool and hardly bothered".