The Expectation Trap

For as long as I can remember I have this strange problem of expecting people(especially close friends) to do things in a way I would have done had I been in their place. Needless to say I've been disappointed more times than I remember or can count. On the face of it, it's not that big a deal to expect people to act in the way I would have acted had I been in their position, for ex: I need some help from close friend in a particular situation, then I would expect that close friend to help me to the extent in which I would have helped in had he been in my position but trust me, it's really a great deal(full of disappointments).

I get particularly fed up when people(read friends) fall way short of expectations and behave in the most weirdest of ways. Add to this the fact that through most of my life I've given equal(almost) importance to my friends and family but many a times I have felt let down upon. Maybe it happens with everyone but I certainly have had my share of such experiences. Be it closest of your friends or people who met you somewhere on the crossroads of life and happened to get along enough to hang out for few months or years. The sad bit being I am not yet able to identify any pattern in this and thus have run into such situations again and again. I hope I am not this way to anyone I know.

Last two months have been really hard for me, harder than anything I've ever been through and I expected people around me, especially those that matter to have behaved in a certain way but I have no qualms in accepting that I've been hugely disappointed. Barring a couple odd people, most people have let me(and my expectations) down to the extent that now I regret spending the time I spent with them. I am cool about all other things but the time I spent(read wasted) on them, hanging out with them, listening 'em out and if needed offering a helping hand in their hour of need(or breakup as in many cases).

I know I might sound over critical and rude but more often than not people suck at communicating. They just can't communicate. I still don't understand how can people be like that. Some of my supposedly good friends either didn't call me to ask how are things or did it just once/twice in the span of 60 days and only I know what did I got to hear from those who did.
It was a surprising(which might be and I hope too it's wrong) realization that people are way too out of world to handle crisis like situations because of limitations in which they see things and how they approach them(within a restricted realm of possibilities).

On sharing the above mentioned with a dear friend I was told that it all depends on the type of individual, some people who are helpful and likes will be supportive, caring etc with all their friends alike(irrespective of who spends more time with time) while those who aren't, will be the same i.e at a superficial level. It sounds like a logical thing to me and I guess that's the case but if that's the case 1) why didn't I realize those people are like that and 2) I don't think I need more people of that kind in my life.

Moral of the story: If you can't lower your expectations, lower the number of people who fall in the area of expectation to lessen disappointments.