Sorry Bhai

Off late I've been watching newly released Bollywood flicks pretty regularly. This Saturday I went for a film that I was awaiting for quite some time, "Sorry Bhai". The moment I got to know Chitrangada was starring in the film, I knew I had to watch it. Ever since I saw "Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi", I've been a huge fan of Chitrangada Singh and Sorry Bhai marks her return to Bollywood after a brief hiatus.

Director: Onir Anirban
Cast:Chitrangada Singh, Sharman Joshi, Sanjay Suri, Boman Irani and Shabana Azmi
IMDB Rating: 7.3/10
My Rating: 3.75/5

While writing about a film I intentionally don't share the plot as I feel it kinda kills the suspense and fun. "Sorry Bhai" has a very eclectic cast and this is one of the reasons it managed to attract a decent audience to the theaters without much publicity and buzz. Onir of "My Brother Nikhil" fame manages to pick yet another difficult(emotionally) plot and handle it well without loosing touch with reality.

The performances were very good all across the cast. I particularly loved the roles played by Shabana and Boman, they make a wonderfully cute couple and have excellent on screen presence/chemistry. Sharman might not fit your image of a physicist/scientist but he plays the role convinsingly and is particularly good at comic timings. Chitrangada is apt for the role of a passionate women who wants to live life to the fullest and doesn't want to be tied down by others version of right and wrong. Sanjay does his bit in the film flawlessly with ease.

Though I am sure most others in the theater and outside wouldn't have liked it but the fact that the film ended with what might not be a typical man's happy ending gave me another reason to love it. It's a cross over film in the sense that it brings out in open a certain type of relationships/affairs which most wouldn't like acknowledging leave alone accepting or approving . The way the people with whom I had gone to watch the film reacted to this confirmed my belief.

The cinematography was quite nice and the script well written but Editing is something that didn't go down well with me or for that matter people who were sitting around. When a random guy from the crowd says "film beech beech mein kaati hui hai kya", there's something wrong. The transitions from one scene to another were abrupt and rough especially during the middle half(when Chitrangada and Sharman, were out for a walk with Shabana following them).

Things that made me raise eyebrows:
1) An AIEEE physics book on the desk of a physicist/scientist
2) The film goes back 11 years and shows Sharman driving a swift.
3) I am not sure if stock market blues were that prevalent/feared of 11 years back.
4) According to me the physicist/scientist aspect of Sharman wasn't established that strongly, in fact I guess the same goes for Sanjay too.

I would have loved if the film went a bit more deep(real life like) about how the trio entangled in love felt about the surprise discovery. There are(according me) various facets of that situation which I would have loved had they been dealt with in the film. All in all its a nice film, worth watching for lots of reason comedy and a different and bold, well dealt with plot

Secondary Affairs aka Fallback Relationships

I've always been inclined to categorize relationships people share,like the one here Desperate Relationships. Relationships would arguably one of the most complex forms of social interaction as a LOT goes into getting them started and even more to keep them going. Many a times people who are into relationships don't on the surface know why they got into it, why they are still in it and if they are getting what they had in mind before getting in. Relationships here include Friendships too.

Most of the categorizes I put relationships into are a result of my own imagination so don't be surprised if Google doesn't offer more on these categories :)
I've been observing quite a few relationships around me for some time and have reached a conclusion that having "secondary affairs or fallback/backup relationships" has caught up lately. I doubt if things were this way sometime back.To get some context lets consider a few examples:

1) A girl doing her Post Grads and in a serious relationship(plans to get married) with a guy for a couple of years is great friends with another guy and shares things with him that she doesn't/cannot share with her boyfriend. Not only this on the physical plane they share mutual attraction towards each other(just short of the first step) but they aren't in a regular touch and the frequency of their contact depends on how her relationship is going with her boyfriend. Her Boyfriend doesn't have a clue about this.

2) A Casanova in his early twenties despite having numerous flings hasn't let go of a girl who loves him. He sets aside some time and space for her on a regular basis. This has been going on for some years now and should unless someone decides to take a decision.

3) A married women who can share things with another friend that she can't even think of sharing with her Husband. Every time she has an emotional low she runs to him(think Emotional whore).

4) Heard on FM: A married lady with a kid has got into relationship with a guy because he stimulates her intellectually more than her husband. She still loves her husband and gives some time(and other things off course) to this relationship.

These relationships have attributes of what can be called 'extra marital affairs', 'two timing' etc but the main point being that people are in not necessarily for their carnal desires and they don't want to let go of the secondary affairs because they know in some senses these relationships are a surprise ingredient in their primary relationships and thus the success of one is kinda dependent on the presence/success of other.

Some attributes of a secondary affair could be
1) Emotional/Intellectual/Physical backup
2) The subject chooses to keep the details to him/herself and his/her partner is for most parts unaware about the comfort/chemistry he/she shares in this other relationship.
3) The time and effort that goes into these relationships is quite less as to some extent both parties know how it fits into their scheme of things and probably that's why they look so attractive.

What people fail to realize in the "cushion effect" of secondary relationships is that they are instead of working on the problem and making effort in a lasting solution are opting for an easy way out and a solution that can be temporary at best and might cause more harm than good. Having said that I am afraid but I see more of these affairs/relationships in times to come.

The Love Problem of A Student - Part One

By a stroke of fate I ended up spotting, buying & reading Carl Jung's
"Aspects of the Feminine". Ever since I began reading it I've been completely lost in the ideas/thoughts presented in it and feel like spending more time wandering in those deep thoughts of human psyche. What follows below is an attempt for the same by quoting some of the ideas from a chapter titled "The Love Problem of A Student" which can serve as bookmark for the thoughts presented.

Love is a force of destiny whose power reaches from heaven to hell.
The bone of contention here is Love problem involving a student, what causes it and what becomes of it because unlike love between two adults marriage is not the socially/morally apt solution.

The discussion starts from the fact that why child marriages(marriage between two students) isn't particularly good. The most obvious reasons being lack of social, financial & psychological maturity and some practical problems concerning parents education and livelihood and child's upbringing. Since having children by a child marriage is not the best thing the discussion wanders to the importance of having children in a marriage and how they act like a cement between parents and prevent them to think on a purely individualistic/selfish terms.

Another interesting aspect of the whole discussion is the effect puberty and sexual maturity has on boys and girls. While in girls the sexual maturity comes gradually with time in boys there's an outburst of sexuality around onset of puberty but on the contrary the psychological maturity comes earlier to girls as compared to the boys of same age. "He now has the sexuality of a grown man with the soul of a child" quotes Jung.On the other hand most women get in touch with their sexuality much later and at times by accident.

"Often the flood of obscene fantasies and smutty talk with schoolfellows pour like a torrent of dirty water over all his delicate and childish feelings, sometimes smothering them forever. Unexpected moral conflicts arise, temptations of every description lie in wait for him and weave themselves into fantasies. The psychic assimilation of the sexual complex causes him the greatest difficulties though he may not be conscious of its existence. The onset of puberty also brings about considerable changes in his metabolism as can be seen from the pimples and acne that so often afflict adolescents. The psyche is disturbed in a similar manner and thrown off its balance. At this age the young man is full of illusions, which are always a sign of psychic disequilibrium. They make stability and maturity of judgment impossible.His tastes, his interests, his plans alter fitfully.He can suddenly fall head over heels in love with a girl, and a fortnight later he cannot conceive how anything of that sort could have happened to him. He is so riddled with illusions that he actually needs those mistakes to make him conscious of his own taste and individual judgment. He is still experimenting with life, and must experiment with it in order to learn how to judge things correctly. Hence there are very few men who have not had sexual experiences of some kind before they are married. During puberty it is mostly homosexual experiences, and these are much more common than is generally admitted."

Moving ahead the author says heterosexual experiences come later and are not always beautiful. Because of the sexual complex, sexuality is reduced to animal play with no psychological distinctions thus just about any women will do. Author further warns us not to draw conclusions about a man's character based on this, however many experiences of this kind bring negative influences to the personality of the concerned.
"The result is that though the man in question is outwardly a respectable citizen, inwardly he is prey to sexual fantasies of the lowest kind, or else he represses them and on some festive occasion they come leaping to the surface in their primitive form, much to the astonishment of the unsuspecting wife--assuming, of course, that she notices what is going on. A frequent accompaniment is premature coldness towards the wife."

These are some of the thoughts put forward by the author and I could relate A LOT to them. Could you ?

Next part would cover college-love affairs, how they effect personalities of those involved and the case with a student being involved with an older person.

We are all actors and news channels our stage !!

The following post is meant to be a participant in the ongoing
Yellow Journalism game and shouldn't be taken seriously


There was a time when people use to frequent theaters to watch
stage plays but ever since "Ekta Kapoor" catapulted on the stage
and charmed people into watching her serials things have changed,
changed like never before. It's an Acting/TV renaissance as all
the actors have taken acting more seriously and everyone is
now getting under the skin of the character to show their acting
prowess to the audience.

While this paradigm shift was taking place some amateur actors
who couldn't find work neither in theaters nor in the soaps
thought of teaming up with the near by lala(who apparently
made it big by selling adulterated ) and decided to create
"24 hour hindi news channels" to prove their acting talent
to the world and give a purpose to their otherwise slightly
unrewarding n not so socially responsible lives.

With that started the wave of actors donning the anchor's hat
and presenting oops acting news on camera, not just by modulating
their tones but by changing the backdrops, playing suitable
background scores and wearing costumes to suit the news item
relayed. Don't believe me ? OK have a look the image below
in which the anchors are enacting the "unfamous Gujjar Protests"
for reservations in "Scheduled Tribes" category in their style.



Once again this post is meant to be taken lightly.
More stories here
kaa, supreet, dipankar. amit

Psychologies

I am particularly fond of a Q/A section in Tehelka by the
same name. In this post I'll try to answer the questions
asked in the latest issue of Tehelka(31st May) for myself.

Q1) What do you miss most about childhood ?
A1) Relaxed and easy paced life, not worrying much about
things other than studies. Simple thinking with less
responsibilities and less facades. Back then I had more time
and less things to do, these days its just the opposite.
Also, I was physically more active then.

Q2) What makes you glad that you're at this age.
A2) I can take all sorts of decisions for myself. I am
financially independent and understand things at
a much deeper level then what I could even imagine during
my childhood. Also, that I understand myself better.

Q3) What kind of people repel you?
A3) People who crib too much about things without really
making any efforts to change things. People who exploit
the weak and less fortunate. Most politicians and lastly
those who are extremely materialistic.

Q4) What is the biggest dilemma you have faced?
A4) Biggest dilemma that I've faced and still continue
to face would be "what would be the perfect way to lead the second
innings of my life and how to go about it"

Q5) So what do you think of marriage now?
A5) Firstly not everyone is supposed to get married and
secondly I feel those who decide to get married should
be mentally prepared to give what it takes to make it a
success. Its much much difficult than it sounds.

Q6) So would you prefer a live-in relationship to marriage?
A6) Hmmm.. No, I don't think so.

Q7) What would you change about yourself?
A7) I'd like to be in control of myself a bit more both emotionally
and spiritually. Also, be a better time manager.

Q8) What do you think of the Indian youth?
A8) Indian youth is going through a phase of self-discovery and
exposure to a bit too many things in very less time and
this era of "Instant Gratification" is taking its toll too. I feel
they need to think a bit about the things that they don't think
at all about to make better sense of things around.

Q9) What about the man-woman divide?
A9) It's unfortunate that there still exists this divide in
many parts of the country but I hope with time and efforts
that are going in this direction things will be better in
future.

Q10) So you think women are less empowered?
A10) If I look around then I don't think so but yes in general
I feel they are. While I feel they should be more empowered
at the same time I hope they don't loose touch their real/true
self on the path to empowerment and post it.

Q11) What would you never change about yourself?
A11) *thinking*........
Giving some quality time to myself and those close to me.
The habit of thinking a lot and without bounds. My observant
nature and ability to not loose cool in most situations and
lastly being able to act irresponsibly and kiddish whenever the
situation permits me.

I'd like to tag the following to answer the above mentioned
questions .

Faded_Glory, Kaa, Smriti,
Sanjukta

7 Din, Ladki IN..

This post intends to share experiences of a friend with
some girl over the last week and shouldn't be taken too
seriously.

It all started about two weeks back @CCD when this 25 years
old friend of mine decided its high time that he's
single(not to suggest that he was single all this while)
and he should get a girl in his life.

So since this friend is more offline person than online
(unlike ME) he took one of the few/common ways of
approaching a new girl i.e by taking a couple of phone
numbers from another friend and started smsing them.
Though I don't have the details I presume something of
this sort must've happened

1st SMS --> some random kinda cute, friendship wala forward
1st reply --> who r u ? do i knw u ?
2nd SMS --> hmm..I am xyz, I kinda know you though you
don't blah-blah
2nd reply --> how did you get my number ?
3rd SMS --> from here starts the 20-20 of lies, flattery,
exaggeration, flirting and God knows what.

So luckily this friend was able to clear(easily) the screening
round as the girl in question gave her a call back after a
few smses but to ensure she doesn't look easy in anyway she
insisted on knowing how the guy got her number which to anyone
whose familiar with this game knows is often a superficial
concern which still needs to be replied however vaguely in
order for the talks to proceed.

"Well I'll tell you how I got your number but not now,maybe
when we meet up for lunch" .Yes this and trust me I've seen
it work quite often. In most cases successfully evading this
question for the first two conversations is the best answer
because after that when both people are in the process of
knowing each other it doesn't really matter.

Day 2 and 3 sees them talking a couple of times once in morning
and again in the evenings.

Day 4 and 5 sees the evening talks stretch to night, and its
obvious that once you start talking to someone late in the night
the game changes which changes with it the content of talks
which sooner or later will come down to SEX.

What I particularly found surprising was the fact that when it
started off the girl was in commanding position. I have to go
now, I am busy lets talk later etc etc and in just 5 days the
positions have been swapped. I vividly remember day before
yesterday the guy had to literally plead to keep the phone down
in order to have his dinner, she agreed only after the guy
promised to call her after exactly 15 minutes.

But what I saw yesternight was toh amazing. The guy was supposed
to call at night but forgot so the girl called up 1ish but the
guy was too tired to talk so requested if he could sleep NO came
in the reply. I was incidentally spending my night at his place
and had a really hard time waking him up after every 2 minutes
of lull while still on phone and surprisingly every time he woke
up a bit to resume the conversation with a characteristic "hmmm"
the girl was there(probably talking). Finally the guy woke up,
munched something and moved to another room and came back after
an hour smiling looking more tired but satisfied.

The Hot-Crazy Scale !!

One of my favorite scenes from "How I Met Your Mother".

I totally buy this funda and feel its common place.




So what do you think ?

3rd Habitat Film Festival

IHC's film club is organizing 3rd Habitat Film Festival.

The festival spans across 12 days(till 18th May 08) and will include lots of
regional films and a retrospective on "Sudhir Mishra" of
"Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi" fame.

Two films will be screened in the evenings on weekedays
and four films will be screened on the weekends.

you can checkout the schedule here
http://www.habitatfilmclub.com/filmcalendar.asp

Entry is supposedly free and tickets are available at the venue itself.
You can also expect some celebrities there.

See you at IHC

Shaurya

Rahul Bose & Kay Kay Menon together and I was easily convinced
that Shaurya deserves a watch in theaters despite being told that
its Copied(or nicely put Inspired) from "A Few Good Men".

Ten Minutes or at max 15 minutes into the film I began feeling
out of place and started looking everywhere but the screen. Then
I was reminded of what I had read on Twitter "2nd half is good",
this gave me the patience and strength to wait for the second
half without thinking/caring too much about the first which took
its own sweet time, shabby acting and some supposedly heavy
dialogues.

Minissha Lambha whom from the begining of film I found cute alas
couldn't garner another compliment. Jaaved Jaaferi too didn't
strike any chord with his performance. Some nice landscape shots,
a couple totally uncalled for songs and some weak drama later the
film begins. Film that I wish had started some 100 mins or so back.

Filled with loopholes, weak script and screenplay Shaurya reduced
some great actors and a great film to nothingness(add almost as a
consolation). Wondering why weren't KK's dialogues for most of his
role even half as good as those towards the end.Wondering was
Rahul in the film just to fulfill his childhood dream to don the
uniform and walk the corridors in it ? What made the director
think that Mini can deliver serious dialogues n look worthy of
some seriousness?

Though I feel a situation like this is a rare possibility in the
forces I'll still give some marks to the story and some marks to
the closing scene as well, without which it would have been
impossible for Shaurya to score a 2.5/5.

The way to a Stripper's Heart

http://justinesane.com/?p=103

Awesome Quote

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

Tom Ribbins

Awesome One Liners

I'm a simple man with complex tastes - Calvin
Is it a right to remain ignorant? - Calvin
I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept - Calvin

logic in emotions

Feelings are not supposed to be logical.
Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions
-David Borenstein

Awesome quote and great thought behind it....

What the Bleep should we know ?

Who are we ?
Where do we come from ?
Why are we here ?

These are the classic questions that have perplexed the thinkers
since time immemorial.Not just the thinkers almost everyone has
(or will) come across these questions, while some choose to skip
them in no time, some ponder over them for most of their lives.

"Asking yourself these deeper questions opens up new ways of
being in the world.
It brings in a breath of fresh air.
It makes life more joyful.
The real trick to life is not to be in the known ...
but be in the mystery."

In case you are wondering what's going on here lemme give you
some context, I happened to watch no wait I made myself watch
this documentary titled "What the Bleep do we know?" that was
gifted to me long back by a film maker friend of mine.
This is probably the only film after "Waking Life" reviewed
here that got me to sit back and think.
This post is a non-critical take on the documentary
and tries to highlight what we can take home.

The film takes us through a journey of Quantum Mechanics,
Consciousness, Reality, God, Emotions, Time Travel and more.
WTBDWK would easily be one of the most controversial piece of
cinema I've seen. What follows are the things that clicked with
me.

"Why do we keep re-creating the same reality?
Why do we keep having the same relationships?
Why do we keep getting the same jobs...
over and over again?
In this infinite sea of potentials that exist around us...
how come we keep re-creating the same realities?"

The question that comes next to our mind is
"Are we affecting the world of reality that we see?"

I totally buy that "we are", its our thoughts and
actions that will make our(and to some extent others)
realities/future and that the external world mirrors the
internal.By believing in this you feel in much more
control.

Another interesting question is
"Who is in the driver's seat when we control
our emotions or we respond to our emotions?"

How it basically works is that our brain is
made up of tiny nerve cells called "neurons" which branch
out and connect to other "neurons" forming what's called a
"neural net" and each place where they connect is incubated
into a thought or a memory.The brain works on the law of
"Associative Memory" and all our thoughts, feelings and
ideas are constructed and interconnected in these neural
nets. Every concept is a result of various smaller ideas,
say "Love" would be a result of combination of different
feelings for you and a combination of different
feelings for someone else depending on your experiences
both internal and external over the years.This model
keeps on changing with time according to our experiences
and as aptly put
"Any information that we process, any information
that we take in from the environment...
is always colored by the experiences that we've had..."

Those who feel they've become "Mechanized" there's more.
acc to WTBDWK?
Nerve cells that fire together wire together

"If we practice something over and over,
those nerve cells have a long-term relationship."
Also
"nerve cells that don't fire together no longer wire
together thus losing their long-term relationshiup."

So every time we interrupt and think those nerve
cells that are connected to each other start breaking
the long-term relationship.

When we start interrupting and observing not by
stimulus and response and that automatic reaction
but by observing the effects it takes then we are no
longer the body-mind conscious emotional person
that's responding to its environment as if it is
automatic.

on Right & Wrong
On the notion that some people have about right or
wrong like If I do this I will get punished by God
If I do that I will get rewarded..Instead of
viewing things this way the doc suggests another
approach of viewing things in the light of

things that you do and they'll evolve you.
and other things that will not evolve you.

In the wake of all that there is and how li'l we know
I'd conclude by quoting this extension of Descartes's
"I am much more than I think I am."

Links:
1) Creating Your Own Reality
2) Script
3) Hackery/Quackery in Scientific American
4) What the (Bleep) Were They Thinking?
5) What the bleep are they on about?

Favourite Quotes:
1)
But you know, it's, uh--
it's like positive thinking.
It's a wonderful idea,positive thinking...
but what it usually means is that I have
a little smear of positive thinking...
covering a whole mass of negative thinking.

2)
Isn't it amazing that we have options and potentials
that exist...but we're unaware of them?

Is it possible that we're so conditioned to our daily
lives...so conditioned to the way we create our lives...
that we buy the idea that we have no control at all?

3)
For the average person in the world who lives life...
and considers their life boring or uninspiring...
It's because they're so hypnotized
by their environment..they've made no attempt...
to gain knowledge and information
that will inspire them.

4)
If I change my mind, will I change my choices?
If I change my choices, will my life change?
Why can't I change? What am I addicted to?
What will I lose that I'm chemically attached to...
and what person, place, thing, time or event...
that I'm chemically attached to
that I don't want to lose...
because I may have to experience
the chemical withdrawal from that?
Hence the human drama.

5)
We have to formulate what we want...
and be so concentrated on it
and so focused on it and have so much
of our awareness of it that we lose track
of ourselves. We lose track of time.
We lose track of our identity.
And the moment we become so involved
in that experience that we lose track of
ourselves, we lose track of time...
that picture is the only picture that's real.
And everybody's had that experience...
when they've made up their mind
that they've wanted something.

6)
We've been conditioned to believe that the
external world is more real than the internal
world. This new model of science says just the
opposite--
It says what's happening within us
will create what's happening outside of us.

Desperate Relationships !!!

Came across this phrase while listening to a talk show on Meow..
I know it's a all women radio station but then what the heck ?
Ever since I heard this phrase I couldn't stop thinking about it..

Desperate Relationships or DR's ....It kinda reminds of Desperate
Housewives but its no where related to that or my previous
post with a similar title..

The way I see, DR's is a class of relationships which can be
characterized by some basic/common traits. A DR stands for a
relationship in which someone enters to either cater to a strong
unfulfilled emotional(or physical) need or to run away from some
grim realities of one's life.

A careful look around yourself will reveal that this is not as
uncommon as it sounds..The causes and symptoms may vary but
sadly the outcomes are almost all the same. A potential symptom
for a DR is when deep down the people involved
(at least one of them) knows that this won't last long. It's not
uncommon to find someone who just got out of a serious
relationship get into another (apparently) serious one in almost
no time or to find someone whose already in a relationship trying
to get into another one for some unmet wants/needs..

These wants and needs could arise due to various reasons ranging
from facing phases of extreme loneliness in their lives to the
unsaid social/peer pressures of being single for quite a while.
Think about it.. Don't you know someone who got into a wrong
relationship just because she couldn't handle all sorts of pressures
(emotional, social etc) of being in mid/late 20's and single ?
or someone who got into a sinking relationship because almost all
of his school and college( or maybe work) friends were in
some sort of relationship ?

A relationship that begins in such circumstances is bound to hit
the rocks sooner or later and what's sad is that it takes down along
with it the people involved in it, particularly the emotionally
sensitive one or the who got into it without enough consideration..
Thus causing a further downfall which can potentially lead to
disastrous psychological consequences particularly when someone
has already been through a lot in their life.

Saying all that I think it would be wise for people who've been
through a tough time in their previous relationships to give
themselves enough time and thought before boarding this ship
otherwise ................................

Trivia:
1) Another term for a DR could be Comfort Relationship, a relationship
which might give a sense of comfort to the involved people in the short
run but won't last long.