The Thing About Married Women

Disclaimer: The idea behind this post isn't to scandalize or judge anyone. It's just one of these things that I've thought about for a while. Nothing more and nothing less.

Why Married Women and not Married Men? Well, you know the answer already. *Most* married men tend to think more or less on the same lines. Which in short is "mauke pe chauka".

Married Women, however are a different species which come in almost as many varieties as you can think of. The context of this post is women who are on a lookout for something outside their marriage. One thing which me and a couple of my friends(with experience) agree to is that married women(on the lookout), take lying to a new level all together. While you can predict lies that married men might tell, you can't possibly imagine how married women could lie to get what they seek. They'll do things and plan things in such a way that their men would somehow end up feeling good about the whole thing than being uncomfortable. I've seen/heard a bit and I am shit scared of how this works.

While nearly everyone needs to know/connect/interact with different/new people various people take things forward differently.Women want men in their lives almost as much as men need women in theirs, it's the needs however which differ. As per my understanding the need to have opposite gender can be categorized into four categories.

1. Physical
2. Intellectual
3. Emotional 
4. Social

Apart from these four needs is another need for change/something new

When you are married (or even in a serious relationship) with someone, chances are that at most two or three of these four needs would be taken care of (exceptions of 4/4 are always there however rare). It is the missing need(s) from this need pyramid along with the universal need for new/change that are tricky.

Once you are missing something you need, first you unconsciously realize it and start seeking it and after a while you become aware of it consciously and get on a lookout. The four needs are self explanatory and many a times the seeker is aware(at some level of consciousness) of what they are looking out for. However, the other person in question, the friend/boy-friend etc has a tough time making sense of what's going on in their relationship or whatever you may call it.

Married women have their own ways of seeking the missing needs or having someone new in their lives.

Some of the ways include

1. Social Networking Sites
   
   Connect with someone/many on Facebook etc. Keep liking, commenting(selectively) each others updates. Exchange pvt messages once in a while. That's the most the women will be comfortable with. No offline interaction, no meetings, no chances of being on the wrong side while still flirting with men
2.  Messengers
   Whatsapp/BBM take things to the next level. For those women who feel comfortable with taking things to the next level will add the guy on their messenger and chit-chat with them as per their convenience. Replying at will, not texting at odd hours, being careful with the language they use are some of the precautions to avoid any untoward questions by the spouse
   
   Social Media and Messengers can have different comfort levels for different women, while for some having a new guy Facebook is ok while for some having him on BBM is better than having him on Facebook.
3. Phone
   
   The more enthusiastic ones will avoid Social Media and/or Messengers (for the fear of being checked upon and not leaving an online trace) will prefer to keep things on phone. They are generally more sophisticated than the 1st and 2nd category ones. They precisely know what they are doing and what they want. Some ground rules like day/time restrictions aside they'll be the most comfortable on phone and will talk more openly.
4. In Person
   
   This is where the game gets Real. Talking on phone, whatsapping or private messaging on Facebook is all in air and can things turn around anytime. You might get unfriended, blocked or even the phone number might change leaving the guy in question with little left. If 60% of women would back out before Phone level, about 40% of those who move to phone level will never make it beyond that.

If you are a guy, it would make a lot of sense(besides saving tons of hours) if you could get to level 3 and 4 early in the game. If she is taking a lot of time to get on phone or meet, chances are she might take forever to reach where you want her to. 

Married women hanging out with someone often is more likely than not going to lead to more things. As always, exceptions are there everywhere.  Whatever you do guys, try to identify which need of hers is she trying to find in you. This will save you a lot of time and disappointment, if you are looking to get laid.

If she is looking to be emotional while you are acting all intellectual or being interested in laying her, things, might never work out. Conversely, if she is in it for sex (though women generally tend to not need sex by itself. They need emotions and sex in that order mostly) and you are too busy being social it is a waste.

Emotional,Intellectual, Social and Physical that in my opinion is the order in which most married women have their needs. For some Social and Physical may interchange and for some really sure ones the order might just be Physical, Intellectual, Social and Emotional. Most women would rather talk or hang out with a guy then be in bed with them. As long as you keep taking them out and keep them conversationally engaged (or better just keep listening for most women would rather talk day to day chit chat than discuss poetry or philosophy ) they are just fine. 

I personally feel the best mix is all four needs in the following order Intellectual, Physical, Emotional and Social. I can't imagine being with someone I can't have an exciting conversation with.

The most popular option out there would probably be Emotional/Social needs only or Emotional/Intellectual followed by Social/Physical. Rare, would be cases which start with Physical and these would be easy to identify.

Infidelity be it physical, emotional, intellectual or social (if we can count it) is a debatable thing and it is for an individual to decide which one is worse, whichever way it would be going forward we'd be seeing more of these in the times to come.

That Empty Feeling

It had to be a feeling of Eternal Return to get my blogging here. It's no surprise(not anymore) that I am feeling exactly the way I must have felt the last post on this blog.

I turned *Thirty* last month and this feeling is yet to sink. A thirty year old, single guy living in a metropolitan with his family. The guy next door on the crossroads of desires, love, family, ambition and adventure.

At times I try to think what would it be for not being me, being someone else.

What if I was Married?
What if I was in Love?
What if I was in a Job?
What if I was living away from my Family?
What if I had different friends?
What if I was following a different Passion?
What if ..ad infinitum...

Except there's no real way to know what it'd feel.

I am quite sure many of us go through this phase many a times in our lives, when we don't know

Why we are feeling this way?
Is it okay to feel like this?
What can I do to not feel this way?
Can I really avoid feeling like this?

I think it's not actually bad to be feeling a void in yourself. I can probably think of a few people who might never feel this void(or maybe they do but appear to be otherwise). But then I'd doubt if they are actually living life the way it is meant to be(at least as per me).

There are some many levers in our life and at times like these I don't know which ones to pull tight and which ones to loosen up.

There's a lot of work that needs to be done on me and by me. I just hope I get going with that....

Eternal Return

Around midnight, sitting alone in my bedroom and listening to "Main Pal Do Pal" on youtube.

If there's a thing called "Eternal Return", this would have been my closest encounter with it. This is atleast the third time that this has happened to me, I've had a feeling of deja-vu, while watching that youtube video on my lappy on my bed with no one in my room and I am convinced that some things(if not all) repeat multiple times in your life.

It's a strange feeling, every time I enter that moment I am instantaneously reminded of all my previous encounters with it and surprisingly that part of my brain that stores this memory, lightens up just like that. I am totally clueless why this happens and what should I do about it. That feeling of being lonely deep down, that missing soul to soul connection is one of the reasons that I know exist. What could be the other reasons for it or what am I supposed to do about it, is what I wonder.....

Jane woh Kaise log the

Out of touch, out of share ?

Whether we like it or not, we all tend to share things first with our immediate/active circle(of friends) before inactive or slightly inactive(out of touch) one irrespective of whome we are closer too.

It might sound simple and obvious but it never fails to make me think, what does this mean and if this is a good thing etc. This means that if you are not in touch(regular) with your best friend or very close friend at some point in time and you feel like sharing something then you'll reach out for someone whose in touch with you(meets you, talks to you more often) instead of that close/best friend whose not in touch.

Firstly, does it happen with everyone ? Secondly, what do you think about it ?

Google Mother's Day Logo

Love Google's Mother's Day Logo

Humor @ Durex

Proprioception: Knowing where you are

"Proprioception is a distinct sensory modality that provides feedback solely on the status of the body internally. It is the sense that indicates whether the body is moving with required effort, as well as where the various parts of the body are located in relation to each other. " - Wikipedia

I bumped into this term while reading "The man who mistook his wife for a hat" and it some how caught up with me and is still stuck in my head. "Muscle Memory" as people commonly refer to it, is basically the sense that tells the mind the exact position of various body parts and what's their movement status. While we all hear of this term "muscle memory" numerous times and in all sorts of situations, we don't think too highly of it. Easily taken for granted like most other functionality that are powered by our brain, it's extremely helpful in being where we are and even a small damage to it can leave us in a sordid state. It could be painful situation when your brain doesn't know where a body part exactly is, to understand what I mean imagine that you have to look down at your feet while moving to see where/how they are or if you don't see any body part and try to control it, it just might be hanging vaguely or twisted in a painful position or something scarier.

I've been a student of Jazz dance for quite some time now(in my second stint), the total duration has been about a year or so now. One of the things we've been told from day one is to walk/dance(maybe sit, stand and even sleep) with your stomach pulled in (not relaxed and all over the place). Superficially speaking it's just about pulling your stomach but there's more to proprioception then just that. The point is that if you keep your body parts in a position for long enough, the brain will learn their new positions/locations and after some practice they will be the new default position for those parts. It's surprising how unaware we are about our body posture/parts and their default states. Unless someone points to us specifically we don't realize if our stomach is relaxed, or our shoulders are loose or hips are hanging(forgive the dx lingo) or worse the back(bone) isn't straight.

Discovering your body is a beautiful experience. It's a journey only a few lucky people get to take and being aware of where you are in space and what's good/bad about it, how can you align them to stay fit,look good etc is a truely great feeling. It's one of my many learnings at Danceworx, being aware of how exactly is your body aligned/placed as you do certain things. Stopping in middle of things to check what's the location/position of various body parts and how they should be instead. While other things will come and go, this vision of seeing your body as it is, is one of the wonderful things that I've experienced and learned, and I wish to carry this with me forever.

Do you observe your body enough to understand it ?

The Expectation Trap

For as long as I can remember I have this strange problem of expecting people(especially close friends) to do things in a way I would have done had I been in their place. Needless to say I've been disappointed more times than I remember or can count. On the face of it, it's not that big a deal to expect people to act in the way I would have acted had I been in their position, for ex: I need some help from close friend in a particular situation, then I would expect that close friend to help me to the extent in which I would have helped in had he been in my position but trust me, it's really a great deal(full of disappointments).

I get particularly fed up when people(read friends) fall way short of expectations and behave in the most weirdest of ways. Add to this the fact that through most of my life I've given equal(almost) importance to my friends and family but many a times I have felt let down upon. Maybe it happens with everyone but I certainly have had my share of such experiences. Be it closest of your friends or people who met you somewhere on the crossroads of life and happened to get along enough to hang out for few months or years. The sad bit being I am not yet able to identify any pattern in this and thus have run into such situations again and again. I hope I am not this way to anyone I know.

Last two months have been really hard for me, harder than anything I've ever been through and I expected people around me, especially those that matter to have behaved in a certain way but I have no qualms in accepting that I've been hugely disappointed. Barring a couple odd people, most people have let me(and my expectations) down to the extent that now I regret spending the time I spent with them. I am cool about all other things but the time I spent(read wasted) on them, hanging out with them, listening 'em out and if needed offering a helping hand in their hour of need(or breakup as in many cases).

I know I might sound over critical and rude but more often than not people suck at communicating. They just can't communicate. I still don't understand how can people be like that. Some of my supposedly good friends either didn't call me to ask how are things or did it just once/twice in the span of 60 days and only I know what did I got to hear from those who did.
It was a surprising(which might be and I hope too it's wrong) realization that people are way too out of world to handle crisis like situations because of limitations in which they see things and how they approach them(within a restricted realm of possibilities).

On sharing the above mentioned with a dear friend I was told that it all depends on the type of individual, some people who are helpful and likes will be supportive, caring etc with all their friends alike(irrespective of who spends more time with time) while those who aren't, will be the same i.e at a superficial level. It sounds like a logical thing to me and I guess that's the case but if that's the case 1) why didn't I realize those people are like that and 2) I don't think I need more people of that kind in my life.

Moral of the story: If you can't lower your expectations, lower the number of people who fall in the area of expectation to lessen disappointments.

Friends First ?

It's a fairly common(and apparently logical) belief that two people who share an intimate relationship(affair, marriage etc) should be friends first and lovers later. The premise being "It's important to connect as friends first(sharing, caring) and getting comfortable before going a level higher i.e Love". While it sounds like an ideal thing it's not really as good as it sounds especially if taken literally.

From my personal experiences and observations of people around I've learned that one(especially guys) should never really become friend friend with their girls and instead be boyfriend friend. Sounds confusing ? Ok, let me clear it a bit.

At the start of most relationships there has to be a different way of approaching things especially between two same aged people of opposite sex. It requires both to be frank, honest, understanding, accommodating, caring and so on. It's not only like putting your best foot(read nature) forward but in some cases also portraying traits that aren't even remotely yours. Getting back to the main point, guys somehow know that they have to be a girl's friend before being her boyfriend and that's what they start being. While there's nothing wrong with this approach but like most medicines the dosage needs to be precise to avoid its side effects i.e you have to be a friend only to the extent that the situation(or girl) requires and not over do it. When a guy starts being more and more friend like in order to either impress her or try and be a more mature, caring, understanding guy(maybe in his own eyes only) he starts loosing it all together for reasons and is more often than not being taken for granted.

It's human nature to stretch things until some signs of cracks start appearing. To put things in context for example if the girl you are trying to woo starts talking about her ex(or ex's) with you and you like a good boy that you are actively listen and participate in discussions. Not that it's wrong or anything but it BEWARE: UNLESS YOU PUT A FULL STOP OR SHOW THAT YOU DON'T REALLY APPRECIATE IT, GIRLS WILL NEVER REALIZE HOW DETRIMENTAL THIS IS(OR COULD BE) TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

While being understanding (and showing it) is good, here also if you try to understand everything like it's your duty(or that's what love is all about) you are in for some trouble. Because unless you are truly great you pot of patience and understanding will start overflowing and you'll end up feeling bad because you feel your partner doesn't really understand you and is only concerned about his/her convenience and priorities.

I've seen use and abuse of "friends first" in many cases with each one different from the previous one. From what I've gathered, it's perfectly OK(if not good) if you are friends with your lover to just to an extent and not in totality. It's ok if you tell her/him to not talk about this/that(read past relationships) too much. It's ok if you tell her/him to not get too friendly with x,y or z etc etc because from my observations people who rather than waiting for their patience, understanding to reach their threshold tell their partners much earlier what's cool and what's not cool with them end up fairing better than those who don't.

Back with a bang

I know I've been really irregular at blogging but trust me I am trying to change this and hopefully you will be seeing a lot more of me in times to come. This, incidentally is also one of my new year's resolutions. Yes, I still believe in resolutions and shit :)

I've often wondered, how come there isn't even a single post about or around sex on this blog despite it's sexy title ? This too shall change soon and to get things going, here's the link to an interesting and informative website I stumbled upon recently.

Check this out and tell me how you found it.

Sorry Bhai

Off late I've been watching newly released Bollywood flicks pretty regularly. This Saturday I went for a film that I was awaiting for quite some time, "Sorry Bhai". The moment I got to know Chitrangada was starring in the film, I knew I had to watch it. Ever since I saw "Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi", I've been a huge fan of Chitrangada Singh and Sorry Bhai marks her return to Bollywood after a brief hiatus.

Director: Onir Anirban
Cast:Chitrangada Singh, Sharman Joshi, Sanjay Suri, Boman Irani and Shabana Azmi
IMDB Rating: 7.3/10
My Rating: 3.75/5

While writing about a film I intentionally don't share the plot as I feel it kinda kills the suspense and fun. "Sorry Bhai" has a very eclectic cast and this is one of the reasons it managed to attract a decent audience to the theaters without much publicity and buzz. Onir of "My Brother Nikhil" fame manages to pick yet another difficult(emotionally) plot and handle it well without loosing touch with reality.

The performances were very good all across the cast. I particularly loved the roles played by Shabana and Boman, they make a wonderfully cute couple and have excellent on screen presence/chemistry. Sharman might not fit your image of a physicist/scientist but he plays the role convinsingly and is particularly good at comic timings. Chitrangada is apt for the role of a passionate women who wants to live life to the fullest and doesn't want to be tied down by others version of right and wrong. Sanjay does his bit in the film flawlessly with ease.

Though I am sure most others in the theater and outside wouldn't have liked it but the fact that the film ended with what might not be a typical man's happy ending gave me another reason to love it. It's a cross over film in the sense that it brings out in open a certain type of relationships/affairs which most wouldn't like acknowledging leave alone accepting or approving . The way the people with whom I had gone to watch the film reacted to this confirmed my belief.

The cinematography was quite nice and the script well written but Editing is something that didn't go down well with me or for that matter people who were sitting around. When a random guy from the crowd says "film beech beech mein kaati hui hai kya", there's something wrong. The transitions from one scene to another were abrupt and rough especially during the middle half(when Chitrangada and Sharman, were out for a walk with Shabana following them).

Things that made me raise eyebrows:
1) An AIEEE physics book on the desk of a physicist/scientist
2) The film goes back 11 years and shows Sharman driving a swift.
3) I am not sure if stock market blues were that prevalent/feared of 11 years back.
4) According to me the physicist/scientist aspect of Sharman wasn't established that strongly, in fact I guess the same goes for Sanjay too.

I would have loved if the film went a bit more deep(real life like) about how the trio entangled in love felt about the surprise discovery. There are(according me) various facets of that situation which I would have loved had they been dealt with in the film. All in all its a nice film, worth watching for lots of reason comedy and a different and bold, well dealt with plot

Secondary Affairs aka Fallback Relationships

I've always been inclined to categorize relationships people share,like the one here Desperate Relationships. Relationships would arguably one of the most complex forms of social interaction as a LOT goes into getting them started and even more to keep them going. Many a times people who are into relationships don't on the surface know why they got into it, why they are still in it and if they are getting what they had in mind before getting in. Relationships here include Friendships too.

Most of the categorizes I put relationships into are a result of my own imagination so don't be surprised if Google doesn't offer more on these categories :)
I've been observing quite a few relationships around me for some time and have reached a conclusion that having "secondary affairs or fallback/backup relationships" has caught up lately. I doubt if things were this way sometime back.To get some context lets consider a few examples:

1) A girl doing her Post Grads and in a serious relationship(plans to get married) with a guy for a couple of years is great friends with another guy and shares things with him that she doesn't/cannot share with her boyfriend. Not only this on the physical plane they share mutual attraction towards each other(just short of the first step) but they aren't in a regular touch and the frequency of their contact depends on how her relationship is going with her boyfriend. Her Boyfriend doesn't have a clue about this.

2) A Casanova in his early twenties despite having numerous flings hasn't let go of a girl who loves him. He sets aside some time and space for her on a regular basis. This has been going on for some years now and should unless someone decides to take a decision.

3) A married women who can share things with another friend that she can't even think of sharing with her Husband. Every time she has an emotional low she runs to him(think Emotional whore).

4) Heard on FM: A married lady with a kid has got into relationship with a guy because he stimulates her intellectually more than her husband. She still loves her husband and gives some time(and other things off course) to this relationship.

These relationships have attributes of what can be called 'extra marital affairs', 'two timing' etc but the main point being that people are in not necessarily for their carnal desires and they don't want to let go of the secondary affairs because they know in some senses these relationships are a surprise ingredient in their primary relationships and thus the success of one is kinda dependent on the presence/success of other.

Some attributes of a secondary affair could be
1) Emotional/Intellectual/Physical backup
2) The subject chooses to keep the details to him/herself and his/her partner is for most parts unaware about the comfort/chemistry he/she shares in this other relationship.
3) The time and effort that goes into these relationships is quite less as to some extent both parties know how it fits into their scheme of things and probably that's why they look so attractive.

What people fail to realize in the "cushion effect" of secondary relationships is that they are instead of working on the problem and making effort in a lasting solution are opting for an easy way out and a solution that can be temporary at best and might cause more harm than good. Having said that I am afraid but I see more of these affairs/relationships in times to come.

The Love Problem of A Student - Part One

By a stroke of fate I ended up spotting, buying & reading Carl Jung's
"Aspects of the Feminine". Ever since I began reading it I've been completely lost in the ideas/thoughts presented in it and feel like spending more time wandering in those deep thoughts of human psyche. What follows below is an attempt for the same by quoting some of the ideas from a chapter titled "The Love Problem of A Student" which can serve as bookmark for the thoughts presented.

Love is a force of destiny whose power reaches from heaven to hell.
The bone of contention here is Love problem involving a student, what causes it and what becomes of it because unlike love between two adults marriage is not the socially/morally apt solution.

The discussion starts from the fact that why child marriages(marriage between two students) isn't particularly good. The most obvious reasons being lack of social, financial & psychological maturity and some practical problems concerning parents education and livelihood and child's upbringing. Since having children by a child marriage is not the best thing the discussion wanders to the importance of having children in a marriage and how they act like a cement between parents and prevent them to think on a purely individualistic/selfish terms.

Another interesting aspect of the whole discussion is the effect puberty and sexual maturity has on boys and girls. While in girls the sexual maturity comes gradually with time in boys there's an outburst of sexuality around onset of puberty but on the contrary the psychological maturity comes earlier to girls as compared to the boys of same age. "He now has the sexuality of a grown man with the soul of a child" quotes Jung.On the other hand most women get in touch with their sexuality much later and at times by accident.

"Often the flood of obscene fantasies and smutty talk with schoolfellows pour like a torrent of dirty water over all his delicate and childish feelings, sometimes smothering them forever. Unexpected moral conflicts arise, temptations of every description lie in wait for him and weave themselves into fantasies. The psychic assimilation of the sexual complex causes him the greatest difficulties though he may not be conscious of its existence. The onset of puberty also brings about considerable changes in his metabolism as can be seen from the pimples and acne that so often afflict adolescents. The psyche is disturbed in a similar manner and thrown off its balance. At this age the young man is full of illusions, which are always a sign of psychic disequilibrium. They make stability and maturity of judgment impossible.His tastes, his interests, his plans alter fitfully.He can suddenly fall head over heels in love with a girl, and a fortnight later he cannot conceive how anything of that sort could have happened to him. He is so riddled with illusions that he actually needs those mistakes to make him conscious of his own taste and individual judgment. He is still experimenting with life, and must experiment with it in order to learn how to judge things correctly. Hence there are very few men who have not had sexual experiences of some kind before they are married. During puberty it is mostly homosexual experiences, and these are much more common than is generally admitted."

Moving ahead the author says heterosexual experiences come later and are not always beautiful. Because of the sexual complex, sexuality is reduced to animal play with no psychological distinctions thus just about any women will do. Author further warns us not to draw conclusions about a man's character based on this, however many experiences of this kind bring negative influences to the personality of the concerned.
"The result is that though the man in question is outwardly a respectable citizen, inwardly he is prey to sexual fantasies of the lowest kind, or else he represses them and on some festive occasion they come leaping to the surface in their primitive form, much to the astonishment of the unsuspecting wife--assuming, of course, that she notices what is going on. A frequent accompaniment is premature coldness towards the wife."

These are some of the thoughts put forward by the author and I could relate A LOT to them. Could you ?

Next part would cover college-love affairs, how they effect personalities of those involved and the case with a student being involved with an older person.

We are all actors and news channels our stage !!

The following post is meant to be a participant in the ongoing
Yellow Journalism game and shouldn't be taken seriously


There was a time when people use to frequent theaters to watch
stage plays but ever since "Ekta Kapoor" catapulted on the stage
and charmed people into watching her serials things have changed,
changed like never before. It's an Acting/TV renaissance as all
the actors have taken acting more seriously and everyone is
now getting under the skin of the character to show their acting
prowess to the audience.

While this paradigm shift was taking place some amateur actors
who couldn't find work neither in theaters nor in the soaps
thought of teaming up with the near by lala(who apparently
made it big by selling adulterated ) and decided to create
"24 hour hindi news channels" to prove their acting talent
to the world and give a purpose to their otherwise slightly
unrewarding n not so socially responsible lives.

With that started the wave of actors donning the anchor's hat
and presenting oops acting news on camera, not just by modulating
their tones but by changing the backdrops, playing suitable
background scores and wearing costumes to suit the news item
relayed. Don't believe me ? OK have a look the image below
in which the anchors are enacting the "unfamous Gujjar Protests"
for reservations in "Scheduled Tribes" category in their style.



Once again this post is meant to be taken lightly.
More stories here
kaa, supreet, dipankar. amit

Psychologies

I am particularly fond of a Q/A section in Tehelka by the
same name. In this post I'll try to answer the questions
asked in the latest issue of Tehelka(31st May) for myself.

Q1) What do you miss most about childhood ?
A1) Relaxed and easy paced life, not worrying much about
things other than studies. Simple thinking with less
responsibilities and less facades. Back then I had more time
and less things to do, these days its just the opposite.
Also, I was physically more active then.

Q2) What makes you glad that you're at this age.
A2) I can take all sorts of decisions for myself. I am
financially independent and understand things at
a much deeper level then what I could even imagine during
my childhood. Also, that I understand myself better.

Q3) What kind of people repel you?
A3) People who crib too much about things without really
making any efforts to change things. People who exploit
the weak and less fortunate. Most politicians and lastly
those who are extremely materialistic.

Q4) What is the biggest dilemma you have faced?
A4) Biggest dilemma that I've faced and still continue
to face would be "what would be the perfect way to lead the second
innings of my life and how to go about it"

Q5) So what do you think of marriage now?
A5) Firstly not everyone is supposed to get married and
secondly I feel those who decide to get married should
be mentally prepared to give what it takes to make it a
success. Its much much difficult than it sounds.

Q6) So would you prefer a live-in relationship to marriage?
A6) Hmmm.. No, I don't think so.

Q7) What would you change about yourself?
A7) I'd like to be in control of myself a bit more both emotionally
and spiritually. Also, be a better time manager.

Q8) What do you think of the Indian youth?
A8) Indian youth is going through a phase of self-discovery and
exposure to a bit too many things in very less time and
this era of "Instant Gratification" is taking its toll too. I feel
they need to think a bit about the things that they don't think
at all about to make better sense of things around.

Q9) What about the man-woman divide?
A9) It's unfortunate that there still exists this divide in
many parts of the country but I hope with time and efforts
that are going in this direction things will be better in
future.

Q10) So you think women are less empowered?
A10) If I look around then I don't think so but yes in general
I feel they are. While I feel they should be more empowered
at the same time I hope they don't loose touch their real/true
self on the path to empowerment and post it.

Q11) What would you never change about yourself?
A11) *thinking*........
Giving some quality time to myself and those close to me.
The habit of thinking a lot and without bounds. My observant
nature and ability to not loose cool in most situations and
lastly being able to act irresponsibly and kiddish whenever the
situation permits me.

I'd like to tag the following to answer the above mentioned
questions .

Faded_Glory, Kaa, Smriti,
Sanjukta

7 Din, Ladki IN..

This post intends to share experiences of a friend with
some girl over the last week and shouldn't be taken too
seriously.

It all started about two weeks back @CCD when this 25 years
old friend of mine decided its high time that he's
single(not to suggest that he was single all this while)
and he should get a girl in his life.

So since this friend is more offline person than online
(unlike ME) he took one of the few/common ways of
approaching a new girl i.e by taking a couple of phone
numbers from another friend and started smsing them.
Though I don't have the details I presume something of
this sort must've happened

1st SMS --> some random kinda cute, friendship wala forward
1st reply --> who r u ? do i knw u ?
2nd SMS --> hmm..I am xyz, I kinda know you though you
don't blah-blah
2nd reply --> how did you get my number ?
3rd SMS --> from here starts the 20-20 of lies, flattery,
exaggeration, flirting and God knows what.

So luckily this friend was able to clear(easily) the screening
round as the girl in question gave her a call back after a
few smses but to ensure she doesn't look easy in anyway she
insisted on knowing how the guy got her number which to anyone
whose familiar with this game knows is often a superficial
concern which still needs to be replied however vaguely in
order for the talks to proceed.

"Well I'll tell you how I got your number but not now,maybe
when we meet up for lunch" .Yes this and trust me I've seen
it work quite often. In most cases successfully evading this
question for the first two conversations is the best answer
because after that when both people are in the process of
knowing each other it doesn't really matter.

Day 2 and 3 sees them talking a couple of times once in morning
and again in the evenings.

Day 4 and 5 sees the evening talks stretch to night, and its
obvious that once you start talking to someone late in the night
the game changes which changes with it the content of talks
which sooner or later will come down to SEX.

What I particularly found surprising was the fact that when it
started off the girl was in commanding position. I have to go
now, I am busy lets talk later etc etc and in just 5 days the
positions have been swapped. I vividly remember day before
yesterday the guy had to literally plead to keep the phone down
in order to have his dinner, she agreed only after the guy
promised to call her after exactly 15 minutes.

But what I saw yesternight was toh amazing. The guy was supposed
to call at night but forgot so the girl called up 1ish but the
guy was too tired to talk so requested if he could sleep NO came
in the reply. I was incidentally spending my night at his place
and had a really hard time waking him up after every 2 minutes
of lull while still on phone and surprisingly every time he woke
up a bit to resume the conversation with a characteristic "hmmm"
the girl was there(probably talking). Finally the guy woke up,
munched something and moved to another room and came back after
an hour smiling looking more tired but satisfied.

The Hot-Crazy Scale !!

One of my favorite scenes from "How I Met Your Mother".

I totally buy this funda and feel its common place.




So what do you think ?

3rd Habitat Film Festival

IHC's film club is organizing 3rd Habitat Film Festival.

The festival spans across 12 days(till 18th May 08) and will include lots of
regional films and a retrospective on "Sudhir Mishra" of
"Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi" fame.

Two films will be screened in the evenings on weekedays
and four films will be screened on the weekends.

you can checkout the schedule here
http://www.habitatfilmclub.com/filmcalendar.asp

Entry is supposedly free and tickets are available at the venue itself.
You can also expect some celebrities there.

See you at IHC

Shaurya

Rahul Bose & Kay Kay Menon together and I was easily convinced
that Shaurya deserves a watch in theaters despite being told that
its Copied(or nicely put Inspired) from "A Few Good Men".

Ten Minutes or at max 15 minutes into the film I began feeling
out of place and started looking everywhere but the screen. Then
I was reminded of what I had read on Twitter "2nd half is good",
this gave me the patience and strength to wait for the second
half without thinking/caring too much about the first which took
its own sweet time, shabby acting and some supposedly heavy
dialogues.

Minissha Lambha whom from the begining of film I found cute alas
couldn't garner another compliment. Jaaved Jaaferi too didn't
strike any chord with his performance. Some nice landscape shots,
a couple totally uncalled for songs and some weak drama later the
film begins. Film that I wish had started some 100 mins or so back.

Filled with loopholes, weak script and screenplay Shaurya reduced
some great actors and a great film to nothingness(add almost as a
consolation). Wondering why weren't KK's dialogues for most of his
role even half as good as those towards the end.Wondering was
Rahul in the film just to fulfill his childhood dream to don the
uniform and walk the corridors in it ? What made the director
think that Mini can deliver serious dialogues n look worthy of
some seriousness?

Though I feel a situation like this is a rare possibility in the
forces I'll still give some marks to the story and some marks to
the closing scene as well, without which it would have been
impossible for Shaurya to score a 2.5/5.